Tidbits & Takeaways
Collection of the sorts, if I may
It’s wild how a year can change everything yet nothing at the same time. Regardless of time, I’m still me, and we’re still we, just better (I think?).
Despite the anxiety I’ve felt every splintering second coming upon the sunrise of my 27th birthday today, my first thought when my eyes blinked open at 7:30AM was, “thank god.”
Although getting older brings resistance out of fear for multiple reasons being the unknown, death, mere time, 27 feels right for me. It’s like when I was 26 (yesterday) I couldn’t find my footing and all of a sudden I woke up with this “Ah ha!” moment, as if my life finally began to make sense the 27th time around. Sure.
Also a part of me needs today to be a marker of something or else it’s just another day of self-absorbed reflection, because we definitely don’t have enough of those.
This past year developed my internal space significantly, in ways I almost regret - I would’ve wished to become more naive now realizing that I find agony in the depths of emotion. I actually don’t want to be aware anymore(??) And of all days, today, specifically after leaving my tarot card reading at the Hotel Chelsea Spa rooftop, I realize I have infinite ways to go.
But for now, here’s a thing or two I’ve learned in the past year or so from this seemingly never-ending note. These really are all just a note to self, but why not share! It’s cool to resonate with people if it fits, maybe you’ll find something in my fleeting thoughts to chat about.
(Good time to level head that learning things is a constant cycle of remembrance and integration as we know, a journey I am very much in the depths of. These are just the ones I remembered that I wanted to remember):
I realized I like to do most things alone, and that’s okay
How arrogant of me to assume that I know what’s going to happen, but how arrogant of me to assume it’s the worst case scenario - “Your calling, won’t stop calling” ft. Victoria Hutchins, The psychology of your 20’s
Cook for your friends when they’re sad. No one has the energy to do it for themselves while in a breakup and a home cooked meal from your best friend cures something Uber eats could never touch
How we do things is just as important as to whether we do them
It’s okay to take things personally!!! Holy F this is a new one for me - I wish I can write it on my forehead. Or maybe I’ll just write about it in my next essay
Surprise your friend with that plant or some flowers for their birthday. It’s nice to show you care in unexpected ways, especially platonically - aka tell your friends you love them, losers!
Don’t not say what you mean in fear of response, in which you have no control of nor can predict. Someone’s response will tell you everything you need to know
While on the subject, what others think of you is none of your business (we’ve known) because your guess can easily become your reality, sifting into self-fulfilling prophecies (we’ve learned)
Drop into your body and feel the world around you. Even just for a moment, the matter of duration is nonexistent, which segways into -
Shame is a never ending self-inflicting cycle that makes us hard. Let your edges soften afterwards, forgive and forgive again
Feel proud where you do well, give grace where you take leeway
Faith is important, it’s kind of all we have - so have faith in something, anything
Self care is giving yourself time the things you want to do. It’s being intentional to where things sit in your life. It’s about a pursuit of ease and joy
Feel the oneness between you and the world once in awhile, if not every morning. Stick your head outside the window and say hello to every passerby, even just in your head (the sun counts too! make sure you say hello to her)
Count to 10 and visualize a marker drawing out each number in your head. Retrace it. Focus on it. Do it again. Imagine touching the number and holding it (this helps with my meditation, maybe it can help with yours if you’re finding difficulty)
Photosynthesize. Surrender yourself to the sun and download it’s nutrients into your brain and body - she’s your friend (this is one of my favorites, I also walked by someone the other day photosynthesizing and wanted so badly to stand next to them and accompany. Love a shared download)
Surrender to the pain, the grief. Give her space too
Trying a new vegetable every week is actually fun and you might find you like them. Tip - always bake them, screw stovetop or whatever the hell else you’re doing. Trust
Do the things that scare you the most and do them on your own. You’ll find you don’t actually need anyone to hold your hand, you’ve always been able to hold your own. The extra hand hold is a bonus, not a necessity
Life is happening for us not to us
Lead with compassion
Judgement is default and familiar, hold awareness to this - check yo-self before you wreck yo-self, then become curious: The Curious Cat
Take what is resourceful, leave the rest
Don’t confine life, rigidity is not the prescription
It’s (REALLY) important to have friends who are at different stages in life than you. You will learn everything you need to know just by being around them
Learn to be your own best friend and actually give yourself time and attention to do this. If there’s one thing this year gave me, ‘twas myself
You don’t need to romanticize the f*ck out of every emotion - it can actually be the exact thing keeping you in unhealthy cycles and thought patterns
Don’t be afraid to communicate and set boundaries with people, it shows you who they are. You’re not scared to lose them, you’re scared you might not want to be around them anymore
The best way to get out of your head is to be selfless and do something for someone else. We’re larger than ourselves and we heal each other. I actually think we need each other (Thanks Eric Stefanski for the new tattoo’s artwork)
Cry. Cry all the time especially when you don’t know why you’re crying
Delete the f*cking apps every two weeks, you don’t know those people anyway and no one actually gives a f*ck what you’re doing!!!!! (speaking of apps, I’m so down to de-influence, but can we be particular with this? Subjective to change)
If they can’t be where you are, the next best alternative is for them to drag you down to where they are
Look people in the eye and try to really see them, even if you don’t think you do. Just try
Let go a bit more slowly. Move when you’re ready
Let them. I didn’t have to read whatever Mel Robbins even wrote in her “Let Them Theory” book, but I can presume she’s onto something. Just let people do whatever the hell they want, then you decide what you want to do with that information
We’re allowed to choose what we believe - seek truth, but know we have a choice
Be precise with the people around you (says my tarot card reader 04/01/25) This one’s fresh
Cool! I’ll leave it at that. I wish I could create a massive collaborative note in my notes app and link it so you can all also drop small tidbits of micro and macro thoughts you’ve had or learned this year. As noted, take what’s resourceful, leave the rest -
I love birthdays, I love celebrating our existence!!
G,xx